Happy Halloween!

Black Cats and Goblins and Broomsticks and Ghosts

Covens of Witches with All of Their Hopes

You May Think They Scare Me - You're Probably Right

Black Cats and Goblins on Halloween Night

Trick or Treat!

Movie Review - "Shoot Em Up"

“Eat your vegetables.”

Sometimes a movie aims high, falls a little short, but still ends up worthwhile. “Shoot Em Up” is NOT that movie. Here’s a film that aims for the gutter and succeeds. Whether or not that is a good thing is entirely up to the viewer. For a film called “Shoot Em Up”, it delivers exactly what it promises.

Clive Owen plays “Mr. Smith”, a carrot eater who takes it upon himself to protect a baby from a ruthless assassin (Paul Giammati) and his infinite number of henchmen. And that’s about the extent of the plot. Along the way Mr. Smith enlists in the services of a prostitute he has a “history” with to assist in the child care. There also seems to be a lame conspiracy as to why somebody has paid to have the baby killed. All that is trivial though. Once Mr. Smith begins shooting at the villains about a minute into the film, the gunplay is about nonstop until the last frame. Shootouts with handguns, machine guns, shotguns, and more. On foot, in car, and even by air. There is no shortage of ammunition here. Mr. Smith is an expert marksman, and dispatches wicked henchmen with ease. He only stops to reload or make one liners.


While this film is credited to Michael Davis, I suspect the real directors were a handful of 7th Graders - juiced up on Red Bull, Video Games, and John Woo movies. Gone is plot, character development, structure, etc. Instead - expect high doses of Rock & Roll music, dead bad guys, jokes, car chases, and – of course – gunfire. Is it anything to be proud of? Not really. Does it make for a fun film? I think so. While the part of Mr. Smith demands nothing except the ability to fire guns and spew cheesy one liners, Clive Owen brings some welcome charm to the role. Paul Giamatti burns the screen as Hertz, the assassin hell bent on destroying our heroes. Giamatti is a huge talent, and as the over-the-top villain, he has the pleasure of chewing massive scenery and having some real fun. His presence gives the film a real flair. Monica Bellucci stars as the prostitute dragged into the action by Smith. While the part is thinly written, and Bellucci seems to struggle with some of the English – she is nothing short of gorgeous and generously spends her screen time in significantly revealing clothing.

The film’s selling points, the shootouts, are plentiful and show no restraint. There’s some humor, most of it cheesy, but generally effective. While the film is the definition of mindless fun, it still is fun, and that’s ok by me. Owen plays it cool, Giamatti plays it crazy, and Bellucci plays it sexy. The gunfire doesn’t stop, the jokes are corny, and the film moves at a lightning pace. While you’ll probably forget the whole thing as the credits begin to roll, it does make for an enjoyable little film.

2.5/4

"Not dead, just very much retired."

Halloween is just a few days away. I enjoy spending this time of the year pigging out on all the cheesy horror films running on TV all week long. Anybody that knows me also knows that I love me some "Halloween 6". Ok, so the plot is an incoherent mess. No big deal. All the plot holes give it an ambiguous mystique. Plus, the film’s flashy, edgy style makes it as effective of a horror movie as I can think of. And don't forget the kick-ass "guitar twang", perhaps the best version of the classic "Halloween theme" made. I spent most of my childhood trying to locate the rare “Producer’s Cut” version of the film, which fills in the plot holes and has something that actually resembles a plot. After about 10 years of searching, I finally bought it… only to realize that I preferred the insanity of the original cut.

“Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.”

While browsing the net a few months ago, I was horrified to learn that there is a whole separate cut of the film in existence. Dubbed, “The Platinum Cut”, it more closely resembles the theatrical version but with added gore and even more altered scenes. While the movie itself is quite exceptionally rare, a few scenes have oozed their way to the internet. The new version of the orderly getting his face smashed is THE MOST outrageous thing ever committed to film. Enjoy!

Movie Review - "Gone Baby Gone"

"I'm gonna bring her home."

There is a certain grim ambiance that distinguishes Boston as a city. Within the last few years, Clint Eastwood and Martin Scorsese enjoyed high praise for their Boston based dramas. The city has a natural grit that lends itself perfectly to film. While “The Departed” utilized the city as merely a backdrop, “Mystic River” came to life exploring the tensions of the working class natives amidst the city streets and neighborhoods. Both these movies were released to mass critical and public praise, so it’s no surprise that Boston native Ben Affleck would choose to make the city the subject of his directorial debut “Gone Baby Gone”.

Based on a novel by “Mystic River” author Dennis Lehane, “Gone Baby Gone” is a fascinating crime drama. The film concerns the kidnapping of a 4 year old girl, and the investigation that follows by a private detective played by Casey Affleck. Assisting in the matter is a loose cannon detective (Ed Harris) and a no nonsense police chief (Morgan Freeman). With each clue and discovery, it becomes clearer that there is more to this kidnapping that meets the eye. Matters of right and wrong become blurred and, more importantly, choice and consequence.


Director Affleck deserves high praise for taking on a challenging subject and his display of excellent filmmaking skills. He handles the visual and stylistic aspects like a seasoned veteran, and demonstrates excellent storytelling intuitions. In particular, the city of Boston sizzles with life under his sharp eye. I would even go as far as saying that he outdoes Eastwood in terms of capturing the spirit and nature of the streets of Boston. The film opens with a breathtaking montage of city life, and often slows down to observe everyday people about their blue-collar lives. There are also a number of well crafted action sequences that are very effective and intense thanks to their grounded realism. The acting is capable all across the board, in particular, Ed Harris impresses with his intense and evocative performance. Also of interest is the first rate behind-the-scenes crew assisting Affleck. Oscar nominees John Toll and William Goldenberg provide wonderful lighting and cutting, while noteworthy composer Harry Gregson-Williams delivers a haunting score.

The film isn’t without flaws, most notable being the plot suffers a few predictable twists and some uneven structure. I’m not one to dwell on this sort of thing. More important are the final shot and subsequent issues at hand. Affleck doesn’t take the easy way out with his commentary. The film offers the kind of bold moral challenge that will surely divide audiences and make for great debate long after you leave the theatre.

3.5/4

Sins Of The Father

Some of my world renowned artwork...

Silver Shamrock

Halloween is quickly approaching. What better way to show our respects than this classic montage from "Halloween 3". Trick or treaters across Americana. The legendary Silver Shamrock song. Despite it's bad reputation, I've grown to enjoy this movie more and more with every year. This scene alone is better than Rob Zombie's entire "Halloween" remake.


"Stop it. Stop it! STOP IT!"

Movie Review - "3:10 To Yuma"

“Just remember, it’s your old man that hauled Ben Wade to that station…when nobody else would.”

A good western is hard to come by these days. In the 50’s & 60’s, guys like John Wayne and Clint Eastwood rose to stardom playing gunslingers in the old west. Over time though, the genre fell victim to endless clichés and schlock. So when a new western is released and manages to impress, I consider that quite an accomplishment. In 2005 I was pleasantly surprised by “The Proposition”, and this year – I’m happy to say that “3:10 To Yuma” is a success.

James Mangold’s remake of the 1957 film is a crackerjack character piece set amidst deadly circumstances. Christian Bale plays Dan Evans, a down-on-his-luck rancher in danger of losing his land to a draught. As chance has it, he finds himself involved in the capture of famed outlaw Ben Wade (Russell Crowe). The authorities look to Evans to help take Wade to Contention where he will be placed on the 3:10 train to Yuma prison. Evans agrees, as he not only feels morally obligated, but placement of Wade on the train carries a $200 bonus – enough to buy back his farm. Unfortunately for our heroes, Wade’s gang is hot on their trail, and plan on getting their leader back by any means necessary.


Director James Mangold, hot off his hit “Walk the Line”, demonstrates a similar touch that he showed in the Cash biopic. While the film is competently shot and paced, it’s his ability to work with actors that deserves recognition. “Walk The Line” featured Oscar nominated performances from Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon, two talented youngsters. With “Yuma”, we have the privilege of watching two of today’s finest actors go toe to toe. Christian Bale is well on his way to becoming the best actor of his generation. Whether playing Batman, Patrick Batemen, or Bob Dylan – Bale has demonstrated a range and depth of performance that is unparalleled in movies today. Russell Crowe is equally multi-talented, going from roles like “Gladiator”, to “The Insider”, to “L.A. Confidential” with ease. He also has an onscreen intensity that is unmatched in Hollywood.

In “Yuma” both actors are in fine form, and Mangold clearly is having fun watching sparks fly between them. The movie builds as a test of wills between the men. On one side is Evans, a noble man determined to provide for his family through an honest living. Then there’s Wade, a cold blooded thief who quotes scripture just as fast as he kills. Their journey together finds them struggling to understand the other man, while trying to stay one step ahead of the other. Amidst the tension is a constant threat of violence. Their trail is filled with the likes of deadly Apache and greedy posses. Not to mention Wade’s gang, determined to make it to the train before his captors and set him free. The film features numerous impressive shoot-outs and action sequences, including a nail biting gunfight during the last act. On the downside, it ends a bit too abruptly and asks the viewer to suspend some believe. All that is easily forgivable though. “3:10 To Yuma” is a quality western made better thanks to the first rate performances by the brilliant leads.

3.5/4

Burn After Reading

If these pictures are any indication, "Burn After Reading" is going to be quite the treat!



Goofy characters? Check!



Absurd violence? Check!



Top notch cast? Check!













Written and directed by Joel & Ethan Coen? Checkmate!

Dueling Banjos

At what point did “Dueling Banjos” become the song of the south? More specifically, the backwoods, Deep South. Your typical Italian, in all likeliness, hates being associated with “The Godfather Waltz”. But the banjos are the soundtrack to Hayseed life. I suppose it’s better than “The Dukes Of Hazzard”.



Spider just caught a couple of flies...

"Your turn to blow DeVito..."

Don't forget to lube.



Fred Savage? I thought he was dead...

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away

"Why is it, when everyone else feasts on the pleasures of life, I get the indigestion?"

In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti

"I'm making my lunch..."

Movie Review - "1408"

Hollywood loves Stephen King. His work has seen numerous adaptations, mostly in the form of films and mini-series. Unfortunately, for every successful adaptation, we are subject to about ten poor ones. In thirty years his literature has gone through nearly 100 screen adaptations, only a fraction of which have been satisfactory. The dramas “Stand by me” and “The Shawshank Redemption” are widely considered to be the best adaptations of King’s work. Genre filmmakers David Cronenberg and John Carpenter saw success with their film adaptations, as did masters Stanley Kubrick and Brian De Palma. Outside of those films, most of King’s films have ranged from moderate to mediocre. “1408”, based on a short story by King, is among the better works.

John Cusack plays Mike Enslin, a once respected author who has been reduced to writing schlock for years. It’s a role tailor made for Cusack, with all of his trademark wit and cynicism. Since falling into his slump, Enslin has made ends meet writing stuff like “10 Haunted Graveyards”, and “10 Haunted Cemeteries”. His latest work, entitled… you guessed it… “10 Haunted Hotels”, has Mike traveling the country to investigate the most infamous haunted hotel rooms. Unfortunately for him, every room turns out to be an over-hyped disappointment. So when he gets word about “1408”, the haunted room in New York’s luxurious “Dolphin Hotel”, Enslin is immediately skeptical. Who cares that 56 people have died in that room over the years, rooms aren’t haunted. Right?


Like Mike, I was a bit skeptical going into “1408”. How scary can a movie about a haunted hotel room be? Well, color me surprised. Director Mikael Hafstrom and his screenwriters have crafted a very effective thriller. What starts as a boring night in 1408 for Enslin, slowly becomes a nightmare of genuine terror and madness. Subtle creeps slowly escalate to a desperate fight to stay alive.

The movie owes a lot of its success to John Cusack, who is on screen for about 99% of the picture. His ability to identify with viewers while commanding the screen with his sharp performance is key to the success of “1408”. That, combined with effective direction and smart screenwriting, makes this a refreshing little thriller that doesn’t rely on the over-the-top gore of most of today’s horror.

3/4

I am the bread of life

A second helping of visual pop/satire...

The Lord has spoken

Some brilliant pop & satire, courtesy of “Busted Tees”. Click on any to enlarge. If you find yourself un-amused, it might be time to re-evaluate your life.





More to come this week...