"Good day Mr. Kubrick..."

In this video, Juilliard-trained thespian Brian Atene auditions for Stanley Kubrick's "Full Metal Jacket". Keep in mind, this is a REAL audition.

Apparently, back in the 80’s, Juilliard was training students to be talent-less douche bags. Who am I kidding? Most theatre students are talent-less douche bags. This video should be re titled - “Selfish, talent-less, pretentious, ugly, obnoxious douche bag over-acts for Stanley Kubrick”. Juilliard owes this guy a refund, this is the most offensive acting I've ever seen.

Some quick notes…

1. Good idea calling Kubrick inferior to Curtiz in the audition tape. I’m sure that made him happy. This also further proves this guy’s douchiness, as Curtiz never directed anything of note outside of “Casablanca”.

2. “A young Alec Guinness” (Obi-Wan Kenobi) and a “Trekkie” = Nerd.

3. Don’t fool yourself Brian, all the faces are more attractive than yours. You douche.

4. Kubrick decided to pass on “2010” to bang your mom, douche.

5. Millions upon millions of NERDS are crying out in agony because you’re not directing “2010”.

6. Brian Atene = Douche bag

Good to get that out of my system. While I go take a shit on Brian Atene, enjoy a quality audition video to take your mind off of that stupidity. This guy is awesome.